


Perfecting Imperfect Perfections

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 13:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17101067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The 6 Perfection in personification; Wisdom, Meditation, Generosity, Patience, Energy and Morality.Everyone you know fits one of these characteristics, but where do you fit yourself?





	Perfecting Imperfect Perfections

For someone so wise, he was rather stupid, at least in your eyes that was the case. You never really saw what others saw; intelligence and wisdom were certainly two very different things. And perhaps maybe Elijah did gain some third all Seeing Eye after experiencing the life of luxury, but to you, he would always be your idiot of a brother.

He did teach you what it truly meant to be wise— and that he clearly wasn’t it, but the longer you remained in his presence, the more you could see the philosophical path he’d taken. “Smaller creatures are bigger creatures to the smaller.” He’d said, but it hadn’t made much sense.

Smaller creatures? Bigger creatures? When asked, he merely said “Ants and crickets as to crickets and lizards.” It hadn’t helped his analogy, or “profoundness” as people described him, and neither did asking any of the Chloe’s in the house, who all but quoted Kamski with their favourite quote.

“The snail is faster in the mirror.”

Yeah you weren’t going to have any more of that shit. No more talk about insects and arachnids or animals and humans; it didn’t make sense, it never made sense. Were you just that developmentally behind or was your brother just pulling your leg?

Without any guidance, you eventually stopped asking about the puzzling statements, and for years, you hadn’t heard a single one of Elijah’s riddles. He’d even pointed out you lack of observation, but you merely shrugged off the point and said you didn’t care.

“The biggest diamond is the world’s smallest.”

But you had already left.

 

\-----------------

 

You had never met such a broken man before. Still standing, still smiling— he was _living_ and yet was just so broken. Hank Anderson was a man of _peacefulness_ as ironic as it sounded, but it was true and you had proof to prove it. He was always somehow calm, always somehow ok, despite pain of memories and people.

You wanted to learn how to forgive and forget, how to let go and erase your past. You sought his advice in forgetting your brother. He was more than willing to help you take back control and fit your pieces back together the best they could.

“It’s painful.” He had warned, “Cause you got shit eating at ya and your just fucking everywhere… but meditation, that crap does miracles.”

So you both sat one day, at another’s house, with youtube on his phone, connected to a bluetooth speak as a bodiless voice directed you both in a breathing exercise. This was when you first realised that meditation was more than pinching your fingers together with an inverted cross of your legs and saying “hum”. It was more than just sleeping upright – it was an art of cleansing your mind, body and soul.

It was an art that you couldn’t really perform.

Hank had gave an encouraging pat on the back and told you it would simply be practise, but no matter how much you did in your spare time (Hank new that these things could be personal), nothing seemed to fit right, in fact, the more you persisted, it felt as if something was _wrong_ , like something was missing. Now there was a blank in your mind, an ache in your body and a cavity in your soul.

\-----------------

Connor was the kindest man you had ever met, questioning you as to if he truly had any flaws. Day in and day out, he was there, supporting you, talking to you, giving you anything he could. It was a great distraction, perfect for when your meditation failed so miserably, and more often than not it was more welcome.

He’d give you little pebbles or leaves he’d find on the ground, and assure you for the hundredth time that “There are no traces of animal and human urine or faecal matter on these items.” Because you were a little bit of a germaphobic but no one needed to do that.

You had collected the various items in a small box, yet again gifted to you from Connor. You felt that you didn’t even deserve these items half the time, being a rather large imposition on quite the number of people with your presence.

But Connor’s generosity, bless his little android pump, had merely reaffirmed that Connor _wanted_ to give you things because they clearly made you _happy_. He never once asked about your personal endeavours, why you looked like you’d just been crying or why you had practiced meditating because that was the best thing to do.

He did worry, that was an undeniable fact, the poor guy appearing so lost sometimes when he wasn’t so sure what to say (He was new to emotions after all) and yet as the heavy weight settled in your gut, that same blank, aching, cavity, he offered you his time and his support without a single question.

You liked that about him, even if it didn’t fill the hollowness in you, it helped to temporarily plug it up.

 

\-----------------

 

“No! No one gets it! No one fucking gets it!” Your screams were what alerted the others to consult the one guy who knew what to do when situations such as these arose. They were rare, usually the meditation managed to prevent smaller outbursts, but the larger ones, the ones that festered inside you and bubbled dangerously, those were what you couldn’t control.

“(Y/n), look at me.” Richard commanded, his voice never changing in tone as he spoke. He was no fool, a soft voice would calm you down yes, but it would never strengthen your weakness. “Look at me (Y/n), right now.”

“Fuck off you asshole!” You didn’t mean wat he had said, he knew that, he paid no attention to your outburst, reprimanding you like a child.

“Stop it.” Richard grit, seating you down as he gripped your wrists. You weren’t focusing, just babbling incomplete sentences, you were angry, mad, and all the emotions you knew you couldn’t control.

“Fuck. You.” You had whined, tears cascading down your face as Richard frowned. You’d not progressed any more since the last outburst, like you were stuck in a limbo of achievement. That gap in you had increased significantly, mixed thoughts and attempts trying to fill in the missing space so you could be ok again. Nothing stuck, nothing solidified, you tried _everything_ everyone had suggested to you and nothing was getting better.

When you had finally come to your own senses, you’d wrapped Richard into a tight embrace. This episode had lasted 25 minutes longer than your average breakdowns, but the only one who knew was the android. Richard never said anything.

 

\-----------------

 

Not even the forces of a god could apprehend Gavin Reed. You knew better than anyone how that man just had too much energy. There was always something exciting going on for him, always plans and always ideas concocting.

You so desperately wanted to feel that liberated.

The detective would return home from work at all sorts of hours, double checking you were alright before setting up _something_. Usually it was a new game, or something he’d bought. Last week it had been 20 kilos of frozen peas and he’d thrown them into the bathtub.

“I’m swimming in pee” he joked, and you swore he was such a child had he not also been his workplace’s resident prick.

You grew to appreciate these odd quirks of his, the excitable glow in his eyes whenever he thought of the “next big thing” it was endearing, truly.

There wasn’t quite another guy like him, someone so reserved yet fun to be around, you joked that he was a tsundere with him, and he did nothing to protest at the tittle. “Kinda like those stupid Kinder Surprise Eggs.’ He’d compared, “Boring as fuck chocolate on the outside, sick ass toy on the inside.”

At your questioning glance, he’d cleared your mental thought process with a smirk, “Their chocolate is absolute shit, and you can fight me on this.” You had declined his proposition to fight with a giggle bubbling in your throat. You knew that he would never _actually_ initiate an argument over something so precarious, and yet that wasn’t what had truly distracted your mood.

It was true that an argument that petty would never happen with _Gavin_ but deep down inside, it was a constant battle with _you_. And it was so tiring, you wish you had Gavin’s energy to survive.

\-----------------

With your life being guided by five different male figures, Elijah, Hank, Connor, Richard and Gavin, you weren’t really sure where you were supposed to fit. They all had their perfections; Wisdom, Meditation, Generosity, Perfect and Energy, but where was _yours_? What did you have that wasn’t the empty numbness in you shell of a body?

No matter how hard you tried to follow the others, you just could never understand the phrase, find the peace, be the accepting, comply with the desire or rise with the day. All you could do was follow, all you did do was listen.

But following others never ended up well, and perhaps that’s because the others were simply not you. Maybe it was time to find your own morals?

Trying something new, now that was something that you had been doing since the beginning; embracing the ways of others as a means for understanding them better, at least your morals were in check.

And then it clicked, oh so perfectly falling into place as you stared expressionlessly into your hands. No, you didn’t have anything that those guys had, and no matter how much you wished you had all of those attributes, there was just no such thing.

No one was perfect, and you could accept that, because what was important was that you gave it your all and that you know what you put forward was the best you could do. And knowing this gave you the odd sort of light feeling in your body, a feelingly you warmly embraced.

Your morality would be what guided you and your morality was what you needed to accept in the beginning.

You didn’t need to tell anyone about your epiphany, that was for you and you alone. It was obvious that something had changed, how each step you took was significantly lighter and how the smile on your face was now decorated with fresh eyes and no bags.

No one commented on the subtle yet very obvious difference, and it was clear that you were on a path of your own. Slowly but surely you’d get there, baby steps was the beginning of giant leaps, and as someone once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”. Wherever he’d read that from, you didn’t know, but at least now you knew what it had meant.


End file.
